Love is in the Air
Thanks God or whomever there is to thank as we survived St Valentine’s Day!
To everyone who thinks that love is easy they are fucking deluded.
This is at best a part time job and if you have the chance to be with a ‘Latina’ (ouch it burns!) like me you are on a freaking rollercoaster of a relationship.
A few years ago, Eros hit the target and I met my wife.
Having so far been a disciple of the free spirited Epicure, it was and still is a perpetual internal fight to maintain the required level of discipline.
My heroes were Don Juan, Casanova or marquis de Saade (kinky I know!)I lived for pleasure only. Although they always were mild and within the tolerance of laws.
Carpe Diem was my mantra, live the day like there’s no tomorrow.
Bref I quit a life of pleasure and leisure. We decided to hang our wagon to each other. I believe this is a leap of faith. It means we tract each other forward, together we take a direction that make us happy and fulfilled (In theory).
Support, attention and care we brought to each other.
But along the years routine comes to knock at the door; children, education, bills, financial difficulties, fading dreams... (Reality as she calls it)
Despite your best effort you still don't see success, struggling with an unfulfilling day job. Frustration invites itself to the party.It takes 2 discerning minds not to fall in this trap. But how long one can remain patient? Show faith into the other?
Being in a relationship is a commitment at first you don't feel the strain of it as passion, novelty and the promise of something extraordinary hypnotise you.
After the years we can start counting the points; and for all my qualities and almost untapped potential I failed to deliver. Whilst my wife who I call my partner in crime* never ceases to impress me I struggle to make amend on my promise of being successful at doing something meaningful. I believe I'm a good dad, a great dad even (maybe) but I always had the certainty I would be wealthy and help the world; and I think I sold her this. 10 years in, I'm still committed to the cause but I haven't filled my part of the contract.
In spite of the tough times and the strenuous road ahead she still is my Valentine.
*In my opinion marriage is a notion carrying very little values. It has a religious connotation, which doesn't sit well with me. Instead partner in crime talks to me, a willing association between 2 people knowing they can rely on each other to achieve their goals and daresay dreams. Don't get me wrong the passion was there but it evolved in something stronger, the knowledge that someone will pick you up when you're down, accept your weaknesses and enhance your strengths. It is almost like you have an undressed soul or mind. It is restful there's no equivalent to a partnership.
Obviously it's not perfect and we need to work at it but when you get that with someone there’s nothing compare to it. Having the feeling that you can count on someone to the point to trust him or her with your life, confide your deepest fear and greatest aspirations.