Last weekend we were on a quest for a stroller as the second one (baby if you will) is on approach.
However, last weekend was the Easter holiday and everything was bloody closed!!
Just because a bearded man rose from the dead? It pissed me off (I’m French I’m mostly pissed off all the time).
If I was pissed off, let me tell you my wife was passed anger, frustration or infuriation. She is 38 weeks pregnant; it is Armageddon mood for her.
She had a list of shops she wanted to buy from on this particular day and not any other day. As we passed closed shop after closed shop she screamed at me and my incompetence, before swearing at the shop and their lazy staff for daring to close on the day she had decided was the day for shopping to finally cry as if tomorrow would never come.
No don’t be sorry for me. If you never had a child, you can’t know pregnant women have crazy hormones. Don’t be scared either it is the second pregnancy we’re experiencing, and I can confidently say now that it is the norm and it passes.
A word of advice that may keep you clear of trouble. The golden one would be to just do whatever they tell you, don’t offer any alternative or take initiative, you’ll most likely end up being yelled at for doing the wrong thing. You’ll realise very quickly there is no right thing or of all the right things you did she’ll pick up on the wrong thing.
Obviously I haven’t learnt my lesson. After humping all baby shops on our high street I offered to take her to the shopping center, “surely the shopping center can’t be closed” I said.
After chasing wheels across the city, we ended up in the shopping center, where everything was also…CLOSED.
“You F*@£$%G idiot” sob, sob, “you don’t understand” sob, sob “we’re not ready” sob, sob “there’s no more hope” snivel.
At the snivel I felt her demonic trance was almost over, I took the opportunity to hold her hand and comforted her (God what did I do!) the sobbing resurrected (Jesus fucking Christ!) she put her head on my shoulder and I let it pass. And pass it did.
Masochist as I am I bade to go eat Mexican Tapas (I know she loves it). I saw her smile (I love her smile), I knew the devil had finally left her.
Anyway this blog was not about my wife’s pregnancy as I cannot even start to comprehend what she is going through and hope I am as supportive as anyone can be.
It is a blog about a man who was alive again and we celebrate it with dead streets resulting in an apocalyptic feeling.
My little family and me fought against the deadly vibe and went to have Mexican food to celebrate the miracle of life.
We filled our stomachs, the bearded man would have been proud of us!